The Coop Scoop

Ha! Did you think I had an actual chicken coop when I got the chicks? Hilarious. No.

Knowing myself (as I do), I knew that there was no way I’d finish a project like a chicken coop without a deadline. Getting the babies started the clock. I had 4 weeks.

In all my prep and research, I’d looked at pre-fab coops to purchase. They were all so flimsy and SMALL. My backyard is surrounded by chainlink fencing, only about 3.5 ft high. Surely not enough to allow for free ranging – those fools would fly away in a second! These coops available to buy online were hundreds of dollars and looked like a cruel joke. Not for me. I believe in doing it right the first time, even if it means spending a little more. So, I needed a coop big enough not just for the 3 hens I’d planned on, but also a few more because CHICKEN MATH. Seriously, look it up. It’s a thing. Plus, I’d need an enclosed run  big enough for them to live in all day every day. Deep breath. What am I getting myself into? Geez.

You know what’s super good for designing things when you aren’t an architect or engineer? Beer. Wine, too. For weeks, I’d sit at my local and sketch things out on paper stolen from the bar’s printer (it’s possible I’m a regular). Google spreadsheets and lumber counts and do-I-paint-or-stain and SO MUCH PROBLEM SOLVING (which I love). I found an inspiration photo online (finally) and sort of worked backwards from there.

Original plans called for a MASSIVE GIANT HOLY SHIT THAT’S BIG coop (4′ x 8′) and run (8′ x 8′). On my first trip to Home Depot I took one look at a 4′ x 8′ piece of drywall and IMMEDIATELY started redesigning my coop in my head to reduce it by half. So glad I did! Except I want more chickens. Because chicken math.

I had one friend help me on my very first day of coop construction when we built the base of the coop/hen house and one other afternoon of help to hold the framing of the run square and level while I did that. Otherwise, I designed and built the entire thing BY MYSELF. Literally no other help. I’m DAMN PROUD of that.

It took about 3 weeks in total. There were days that my muscles didn’t want to climb the ladder or bend over again. Days when I just didn’t want to have paint on my hands. Days when I had to go to Home Depot three times for more lumber or because I got the wrong hinges. And yet? My coop looks nice, has all the features needed to safely and humanely house 4-5 chickens, access for me to keep it clean,  gather eggs…everything. I love it so much.

Special thanks to my dad (who would have been 76 years old today) for teaching me how to problem-solve and use power tools. I know he would be proud of what I did with what he taught me. The first eggs will be for you, dad.

 

Starting the coop base (thanks Ryan!)

Framing the walls

More framing

Run framing done

Nearly done!

A few months in, complete with flowers!

Baby Chicks OMG SQUEEEEEE!

They’re real cute. Let’s just get that out of the way. They’re fluffy, they make tiny cheep-cheep noises…come on.

After the coop tour, I was ready to pull the trigger. Baby chicks live in a brooder, so I picked up a large, clear plastic storage tote ($20 @ Target) and a heat lamp ($10 @ Home Depot). These were the critical things that I’d need once I was ready to get chicks.

12 minutes later, I was buying chicks. I know, I have no willpower. Never have. I went straight from Target to Gecko Hardware just to, you know, scope it out, see what was available, no commitment, yadda yadda yadda. But…yeah.

It was fortuitous. Gecko had breeds that I wanted and didn’t think I’d be able to get without ordering from a hatchery, which I wasn’t wild about (something about literally MAILING live animals doesn’t sit well with me).

It was as close to “I’LL HAVE ONE OF EVERYTHING, HOW MUCH WILL THAT BE?” as I’ve ever come. After picking out 4 chicks like they were colorful macarons in a display case, I also grabbed a 5lb back of chick starter (food) and pine shavings for the brooder. That was really all that was needed to get started. It was a little weird. You’re going to let me take these live animals that will live for 7 years? Don’t I need some kind of home study or paperwork?Nope? Okay, sure. Yup. I can totally do this. I know everything about chickens.

Oh shit.

 

Hatching a Plan

See what I did there?

Deciding to get chickens was a loooooong time coming. When I first purchased my home 2 years BC (Before Chickens), it went something like this “OMG I can totally have chickens! I can do whatever the hell I want!”. And then…nothing. But the idea was always in the back of my mind. Sort of a fantasy that I would NEVER actually pull the trigger on I mean COME ON. I compost, but only sometimes. I have a veggie garden, but rarely harvest in time. The Urban Hippie Life is appealing, but an awful lot of work.

ASIDE: East Dallas is about a hippie as it gets ’round here. Backyard chickens aren’t totally weird, but still a bit of a novelty. So, I was already in a chicken-friendly part of  town. As much as you can be “chicken-friendly”. What a weird thing to talk about. CARRY ON.

Being bored at home (or at work) (or at the bar) often led to online research on chickens and chicken-keeping. I read blogs, joined forums, generally lurked like a total creeper. I looked up potential pitfalls like illness, predators, care, longevity, vacation plans, all the things. It’s important to me that if I make the decision to accept responsibility for the care of an animal, that I know what I’m getting into. Eventually, I saw that I knew more about chickens and caring for them than some jackasses out there. Booyah.

The tipping point was A Peep at the Coops. It was at the end of April (I think?) and I conned a friend into going with me. What is it? It’s like a home tour, but for backyard chicken coops and it was all VERY local to me (like, never had to cross major highways or anything). We visited 4 or 5 coops and I asked a ton of questions at each one. We looked at coop construction (pre-fab, homemade, contracted), breeds (Buff Orpingtons, Barred Rocks, Cochins, Polish, Ameraucanas), run/coop size, free ranging, fencing, weather-proofing, wing clipping, and on and on and on. I was a sponge. And determined.

Having agonized over potential coop plans, I got my first ChickieBabes™®© (whatever) on Mothers Day. They were born on Cinco de Mayo, so they were 3 days old when I brought the little fluffballs home. I’ll do another post about what I learned while caring for baby chicks. It’ll be a barn-burner.

But, yeah. That’s how it happened. HOURS, nay…DAYS of painstaking research until I just bit the bullet and went to Gecko Hardware to “you know, just check out what kind of breeds they have.”

And then there were four. And lo, they were cute. #fluffybutts

OH HAI

Folks have been asking for more chicken content. So, The Chicken Channel©®™ (I have no idea what I’m doing) has expanded from a couple of ridiculous live videos on Facebook to…this? Whatever. You may or may not see content, but I really do love securing domains and creating useless sites. Perhaps not as much as ModernishFather (no one knows how to create/abandon a blog quite like that guy), but still an amusing diversion.

 

And so…here we go. BOCK BOCK!

 

(it doesn’t sound like that IRL)